Green Eggs & Ham: K-Pop, Daydreaming & Idolatry

So much for keeping up with posting church sermons every Sabbath. It's never a lack of things to talk about that leads to inactivity, but just plain old laziness. But today/now/recently, there's been an alarming trend in my life that I thought I should address. At first glance, the title may seem random altogether, and it's not hard to think that just as green eggs and ham are rather random, so are the things I list afterwards. But there is a connection, and a scary one at that.

It was only 2 months ago this all started. It wasn't even October yet, it had just been over a month since I came back from Japan, USC football wasn't yet in the toilet and the NBA season had yet to start. In relation to K-Pop, I knew SNSD (Girl's Generation) had too many attractive girls of whom I could only name 2 or 3 out of the 130948309482 members... and that was about the extent of my knowledge of the world of K-Pop. It all started innocently.. I was watching more and more Korean variety shows, I started to follow Korean celebrity news a little more and more, but eventually this snowballed and 2 months later, I'm sitting at my desk caring about the most inane of things ranging from the return of an exiled Jay to 2PM to whatever new outfit/image K-Pop Girl Band A, B & C are popularizing. In short, I know that I share an obsession/habit with that of prepubescent 12-14 year old Korean girls, but I always appealed to the stock excuse that "it's all in harmless/stupid fun".

With this said, the connections to daydreaming should be becoming clearer. Recently, my older sister made a comment that, though the Korean media isn't unique in this, the whole variety/reality show phenomenon in Korea with all the celebrities that is very particular to Korea reminded her of the Jim Carrey movie, The Truman Show. If you haven't seen it (I highly recommend it), the movie is about Jim Carrey's character's life being a reality show which everyone except his character is aware of. One of the points of the movie and my sister's point is that the fad/obsession with the reality/variety shows in Korea creates this nagging addiction where the general population lives vicariously through the celebrities. These reality shows aim to make the audience feel that they are close to the celebrities, or even better, they can relate and be in their shoes. Whether it be a reality show like "We Got Married" or a variety show like "Star Golden Bell" or pretty much any show you can fill in the blank with, they offer an escape from reality and entrance into a world of daydreams.

I can personally attest to all of this. Stupid as it may sound, I was hooked into the hook-ups, scandals, dating news, etc in the celebrity world, mainly because I daydreamed of that being me and because I place these celebrities on a pedestal. It was fun to not think about my drags of reality and every day life (LSAT, law school, studying, etc) and immerse and daydream of a different world. One celebrity liking another, fake scandals to the left and to the right, the drama, etc, it offered an escape but also a seemingly more enticing alternative to my "boring" life. However, a closer inspection of my obsession with this pop culture and the daydreaming that ensued revealed danger.

A friend of mine once told me that daydreaming was dangerous because he thought it was directly related to wanting to escape from reality and desiring and coveting something "better" or something "else", and that this was particularly dangerous as he saw it as a direct dissatisfaction in God. When I remembered this, it was the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back as I slapped my forehead and wondered what the heck I was doing with my life. The more time consuming this interest became, the more my mind wandered from scripture and satisfaction in the Creator and drifted towards daydreaming and obsessing over creations. At this breaking point where this interest in K-Pop threatened to consume me, I was reminded of the dangers of daydreaming and idolatry. Daydreaming stems from boredom and dissatisfaction in life and strives to fill that void by imagining something ELSE that one covets and desires. Furthermore, this coveting and dissatisfaction leads us to seek comfort and satisfaction in the material things, in storing treasures on Earth, resulting in idolatry.

This post isn't going to be groundbreaking or even, to be blunt, original. But it is a reflective, remindful piece that I think we all need. That we need not store treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but to place and hopes and treasures in God in heaven, where the moth and rust DO NOT destroy and where thieves DO NOT break in and steal. The material fades away, but salvation and the Kingdom do not fade. This past Sabbath, Pastor Edward (our new head pastor) spoke on Genesis 3 and paradise. He mentioned that paradise is not a place, but a relationship. In reference to Genesis and creation, paradise to God wasn't the Garden of Eden, but the relationship with Adam & Eve. And just as He shed the blood of animals to cover them, Christ shed His blood to cover us. It's time to stop being dissatisfied by our shortcomings and instead, rediscover satisfaction in His covering of our shortcomings.

Yeah.

Sunday Sermon [9/27/09] - Pastor Edward Kim

For personal accountability/reminder and just to share with readers of this blog (which will hopefully be a blessing to you all), I've decided to blog/post my sermon notes after church. For background information, our head/senior pastor is stepping down and Pastor Edward, who spoke today, is our leading candidate to become our new head pastor. Here are a few things on his resume which was attached to our jubo (i was very impressed, not that works is important on its own but nevertheless, he has done quite a bit):

• Fuller Seminary - studying for a PhD in Historical Theology
• Princeton Seminary - M. Div Degree
• NYU Law School - JD Degree
• Pomona College - BA in Politics
• Church experience in Ambassadors Presbyterian Church (PCUSA), Good Shepherd Presbyterian Church (PCUSA), and Princeton Korean Community Church (KPCA)
• Worked in IJM

Today's text: Hebrews 12:1-3

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

For the introduction, Pastor Edward opened by making a reference to the highly successful self-improvement book, "Seven Effective Habits of Highly Successful People". From this book, he made a reference in regards to one of many effective habits to live by: the habit to live with the end in mind. With this said, he went into his three major points/questions.

1) WHY live with the end in mind?

By living with the end in mind, the ultimate form would be living with death in mind. By living with death in mind, this allows you to focus on what matters most. An extreme example would be the phone conversations those on the hijacked planes had with their loved ones on 9/11, just before perishing. Living in this way, with death in mind, constantly reveals to us what makes our lives meaningful and helps guide us. A common exercise that puts this into practice is imagining that it's your funeral and writing down what you would want people to say about you in their eulogy. By doing that, you're able to see what you're living for, what your goals are. By living with the end in mind, you are living towards a goal, by seeking and seeing the finish line. With this, he refers to the text by highlighting the call to endure and running and living with perseverance by seeing the end, by fixing our eyes on Jesus.

2) Why don't people begin with the end in mind?

There is the race that the scripture calls us to live by, but Pastor Edward pointed out that many of us do not run the race but rather, the rat race instead. By rat race, he means those wheels in mouse/hamster cages that they run- in-place on. So, why the rat wheel instead? For this point, he brought in external text from "The Denial of Death" by psychologist, Ernest Becker. In this book, Becker theorizes that in order to deny death, we pursue different "immortality projects" that distracts and delude us from death. The projects that distract us are things such as drugs, entertainment, and various addictions that help us escape from the harsh realities of life. Then there are the projects that delude us into thinking that everything is alright. So in the end, through these "immortality projects", people all cheat, lie, and hide in one way or the other to avoid the fact we are all manure. We pursue the rat race rather than THE RACE because we don't want to face reality and have our fears confirmed that indeed, we are worthless.

2.5) Fundamental Tension?

This comes from the fact that in living with the end in mind, death reveals to us what is precious, and yet threatens us by revealing to us our inequities, fickleness and worthlessness, this all presented throughout the first two points/questions. How then, does one resolve this tension? And even if death reveals what is precious, it's not automatic that the byproduct of this is a greater cherishing for God.

3) So, how to begin with God and the end in mind?

The scripture text has a parallel structure referring to not only our own, but Jesus' race as well. And from the text, it follows we endure as He endured. The term "author and perfector", in Greek, translates to mean a first place finish in a race. At this point, Pastor Edward brings up a personal example of how when his father found out his potentially fatal heart condition, he did not tell Pastor Edward, because in his FATHER'S living and approaching that end/death, what he saw as precious and joy was his son, Pastor Edward, along with his marriage, which had just occurred, and thus he did not tell anyone about his health condition. When Pastor Edward found out about this, instead of running away, he was drawn towards and took greater joy in loving and caring for his father. So, in context of the scripture text, we were the joy/end/goal/finish line that was set before Christ that HE takes great joy and pride in (Phil 4:1, Zep 3:17). We were the end He had in mind on the cross. So, as He thought of US in His death and crucifixion, (referring back to question/point 1) this shows that we were revealed to be most important and precious to Him. Just as Pastor Edward could not help but take greater joy and care in his father, we should realize that as the joy we are in Christ, we shouldn't help but take joy in Him more. The rat races of this world are nothing compared to the ONLY race we are called to strive after. Why seek after that true love when the one and first true love has already said YES first? The way to escape depression is not avoidance but rather focusing on the single death that shows Christ's joy and care for us. Indeed, if we are bored, depressed or paranoid, we are looking at the wrong finish line. We need to strive after the finish line, the end, the goal that is Christ. This change begins by realizing that Jesus began and died with us in mind and that we should take and live in joy in Him because of this.

the rumors of my demise have been greatly exaggerated..

this blog is not dead. i've just been really busy and lazy. when life moves forward and there is no pause button, things tend to prioritize themselves out accordingly. but at the same time, i enjoy blogging so i don't know why i haven't done much of it lately. and frankly, with being unemployed and taking a year off, i should have time for this. and with everyone moving on in life, it makes more sense that at the very least, we'll keep in touch via technology. but yes, hopefully i can blog regularly again and about more than just the mundaneness that is law school application/studying.

but anyways, here is the most recent update on my life. yes, i am taking the year off and home, but i've been in law school beast mode throughout the last 2-3 weeks. i've gotten a good chunk of all the apps and what not out of the way (ie: the tedious stuff) but i still got the personal statement, optional essays, my LSAT (dec 5) and financial aid stuff to take care of. hopefully once the fee waiver goes through, that will give me the green light to send in all 20+ of my applications. yes, you read that right.

i do have my different worries about these different tasks that await me. for the personal statement, i feel so awkward and at an impasse essentially having to boast and "market" myself. obviously i can't write everything in that limit so every word, every character counts. never has an essay been this simple but so... scary? as for my LSATs, i'm banking it on just this december's exam date.. because this is the only test i'm taking on time, and it is the last exam date that the elite schools accept, my chances for enrolling for fall '10 rides on this one shot.. otherwise i'll be looking at another year off and who knows what that will bring.

this is pretty much what consumes my free time, and it would consume my life if it wasn't for proverbs 19:21 (look it up!). it gives me perspective. it gives me peace. it quiets my worries and comforts me.

my japan 2k9 testimony

since some of you have been asking and it's efficient, here is my testimony i wrote/read for kcm and church about my missions trip.

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Japan Testimony

This past summer, God gave me the privilege of going out to Japan. This was actually my second time going out with KCM, having gone to Uganda in 2007. Looking back on my experiences, it was easy going out the first time; I had never been on missions before. But going back out a second time was more difficult; I constantly asked myself, “why am I going out again?” After much thinking and praying, I asked God to give me vision through this summer mission experience.

While in Japan, we stayed at a church in Osaka known as Jesus House, or J-House for short. While at J-House, we had a pretty consistent weekly ministry. The bulk of it was going to the various Funky Clubs that J-House planted at Kansai, Hondai, Gaidai and Kangaku Universities, making friends and inviting them to our weekly English lessons and J-House Funky Parties. These interactions focused on building relations through friendship evangelism and slowly opening them up to the gospel message. We also spent two Mondays doing homeless ministry at Kyuurei Church, doing presentation ministry and handing out bread to the hungry congregation. We also had side events like VBS, Drama Nights and a trip to the Aquarium where we got to meet and make more friends. Finally, throughout the month, we were involved in J-House’s daily morning prayer, weekly prayer meetings, Sunday services and various other ministries ranging from Korean Bible Study to Gospel Choir.

Throughout my month in Japan, my biggest struggles were pride and complacency. Pride was an issue for me in that I came into the trip as a graduating senior and a KCM missions multi-timer, and thus I felt that I was “wiser” and “better suited” than others on my team. Furthermore, I became blind to my own shortcomings, and because I judged my teammates and lost perspective, it hindered me from doing genuine and effective ministry. Complacency was an issue for me because of the comforts of a modern nation like Japan. Because of these amenities (AC, internet, showers, etc), I became physically complacent, which eventually caused me to become spiritually complacent. Because of this, I treated this trip more like vacation rather than missions, and as a result, I ended up becoming a bad witness to all the support from those back home as well from Christ’s sacrifice, which enabled me to be on this trip in the first place. It was then when God convicted me with Romans 3:10 (There is no one righteous, not even one), and this reminded me of the cost of ministry, and that it was only by His blood and grace that I was even there. Through this verse, God revealed to me the depths of my sinfulness, and although I struggled mightily, I realized it was for the perfecting of my faith and for God’s strength to be glorified in my weakness and brokenness.

Although there were dark days such as these, God’s goodness easily penetrated and overpowered these times. Heading into Japan, I knew it was less than 1% Christian. But nevertheless, Christ’s prayer for more workers for the plentiful harvest in Matthew 9:37 and His heart for the one lost sheep in Matthew 18:12-4 inspired me to live likewise during my month in Japan. Because of this and Christ’s provisions, I entered this trip excited rather than daunted by Christianity’s minority status in Japan. All throughout the month, God was always with us, working through us and for us in all circumstances. For me, my biggest blessing in this area was when my team and I went to Osaka Castle during the last week of the trip to fast and go on a prayer walk. My leader, Pastor Edwin, had given each of us 30 minutes of devotional/journal time, and it was maybe 5 minutes into it when an older gentleman by the name of Saito-san approached me. As he handed me a bookmark that he painted, a church flier he had received fell out, and just like that, God opened up this opportunity for me to share the gospel message. As I was sharing the gospel with Saito-san, I know it wasn’t me, but rather God talking through me and planting a seed of faith in Saito-san. Even after the prayer walk, God continued to work and nurture the seed, and as a result, Saito-san not only came to J-House that very day for a pizza party, but for the very last Funky Party before our team returned home. And I just found out that as of this Sunday, he actually attended his first Sunday service at J-House and joined a small group there.

Just as God blessed me through the lost, He equally blessed me through my brothers and sisters in Christ at J-House. First, the passion and genuine faith of each believer was amazing. Their faith truly reflected Jeremiah 9:23-4 (Let not the wise man boast of his wisdom, or the strong man boast of his strength, or the rich man boast of his riches, but let him who boasts boast about this: that he understands and knows me, that I am the Lord, who exercise kindness, justice and righteousness on earth, for in these I delight). It was an inspiration to see their faith so singularly focusing on and boasting about the Cross, in a country full of darkness and distractions. Next, the fellowship I witnessed at J-House was truly God centered and selfless. Just like Proverbs 27:17, each member genuinely sharpened and built one another up just as iron sharpens iron. I would often see many of them having informal accountability meetings, bible studies and times of prayers all throughout the days and weeks. Furthermore, the people I would see on Sunday services would be the same people I’d see on Wednesday nights for prayer meetings, Friday nights for Funky Parties, and throughout the week to practice for gospel choir, to cook and other things. Bearing witness to each individual’s faith as well as the group’s love for one another has inspired me to bring that passion back home.

In going to Japan, I asked God for vision. God did not disappoint as He dramatically increased my love for Japan, its culture, people and churches. And this not because of my love being any worthy, but all because of Christ’s love for us that came first. Because of all these reasons, combined with my comfort with the language, I have grown to see Japan as a home away from home. In fact, as I am sharing this, I am praying and deciding whether I should continue with applying to law school for the upcoming year, or take another year off and return to J-House. But that’s another bridge to be crossed at another time. Whatever happens in the end, though, I can truly believe Proverbs 19:21 for the first time in my life, that, though many are the plans and hopes in my heart, it is, shall be, and I want it to be the Lord’s purpose that prevails. So praise be to God, for it is not my will, but His will being glorified and carried out in my life. Thank you!

a quick thought

over the past few weeks, i've just been revisiting old memories and experiences from past relationships/pursuits and what that "soul searching" has resulted in is a curious question: what makes him/her the "one" over any other person? i mean, God's sovereignty aside (He will provide, of course), i feel that it's all a matter of effort and right timing. with the right time and right place, and just enough effort, anyone can be anyone's "one".. which would sour the idealistic image we hold about that "one" because of the fact that anyone can be that "one"... this nihilistic/existentialist thought should be liberating, but it actually depresses me haha.

other than that, i'm just waiting as we leave for missions to japan. i'll have my computer so this blog will probably be updated every now and then, if ever.

- brian

a short review of this week...

the highlights of my week were probably also its lowlights:

1) After putting them on the spot and refusing to fall into their scam, the "students" who were trying to sell me magazines (aka scamming) for their "scholarship" (aka shady business) called me "full of sh*t" in my face, which is ironic, given that, if anything, I should have been the one saying that to them. I concluded the conversation by yelling "God Bless!" across the courtyard, so I'd like to think I ended the conversation on a good note.

2) About an hour prior to me writing this, I got pulled over, and basically, I got my first ticket of my driving career, which, as of this moment, has been 6 years long. They called it an "unsafe lane change". No problem with getting a ticket because I did screw up, but basically I'm still going to have to pay at least $100 (money which I had intended to save for missions) and probably go to traffic school (time I could have spent sleeping or doing something else).

I guess in times like these, it would be easy to not praise God and be bitter. And frankly, I'm inclined to be that way, but in light of this past Resurrection Sunday, what's $100 dollars, a few hours in traffic school, and a passing expletive in my face compared to what He suffered? Perspective: it does a body good.

A Very Brief Update

Japan 2K9.